I had a baby?

Let me start by saying the amount of birthing videos on YouTube that are available to watch are ridiculous.  What do you do when you’re about to have a baby? Watch those videos.  Sounds logical, right?  Let me scare the shit out of myself and prepare for the uncanny amount of pain and have my lady parts changed forever.  What are the chances I would have a great labor and delivery anyway.  Well, I sure was wrong.  Also lucky as hell.

First off, I had an elective induction (administered by pitocin which causes your body to go into labor if it doesn’t naturally).  I was 4 days overdue and baby didn’t want to come out on his own.  I went in on a tuesday morning and we started the pitocin at about 8am. I had been dilated to a 2 for a good month at this point, so I didn’t really know what to expect or how things would progress.  It could take a whole day for this shit to kick in, for all I know.  I had also heard horror stories about inductions as far as everything being more painful than when your body naturally just does its thing.  About an hour after we started the pitocin my Dr. broke my water.  Seriously, weirdest feeling ever.  The nurse and him were both in shock to see how much fluid came out.  For the next 3-4 hours I felt like I was constantly peeing myself with zero control.

I like to think I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so for a good while I could handle my contractions with quiet breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth.. you know the deal) but they intensified pretty quickly.  The next time they did a cervix check I was only at a 3-4, which was very disappointing considering the amount of pain I had been dealing with.  When I got to the point that I was clenching my fists during contractions is when I asked for an epidural.  I wanted to see how far I could go with no drugs but who am I kidding, why waste precious time?  Give me the good shit and lets get this show on the road.  I was honestly more scared to get the catheter put in than the epidural.  Like, (TMI) who wants to have someone stick something up their pee hole?!  It took awhile for one side to numb afterwards so I was still feeling contractions on my right side.  But, man… once it kicked in I was feeling like a whole new woman.  Why the hell would anyone not get an epidural?  While I was in my room feeling cool as a cucumber the woman in the suite next door was screaming bloody murder.  Sounds like a no brainer to me.  Yes, I do know some people have had horrible experiences with epidurals and I was very lucky in that sense.  When I was checked after they gave me the epidural I was at a 6.  Progress!  I sat with the peanut ball between my legs for maybe an hour? or three? I wasn’t paying attention to time, I was feeling great at this point.

Side note:  Since my husband is in Virginia for training in the Army I had been in contact with him off and on all morning but not as much as usual because the sergeants had poles up their asses this particular day.  He wasn’t allowed to have his phone on him, but he did anyway because well… HIS WIFE IS IN LABOR.

When the nurse checked me around 6pm she looked at me and said “well, you’re complete..” AKA it’s time to have a baby.  I had been wondering why for the last 30-45 minutes I had been feeling the urge to shit every time I had a contraction.  We waited another 30-45 minutes for the urge to become more constant.  All day my husband had been very impatient asking how things were progressing.  I could sense a “why is this taking so long” tone.  When in all reality things were actually going pretty quickly.  Now that it was go time I called him to let him know so he could go somewhere quiet to FaceTime while I pushed.  Well, guess what, he didn’t answer.  I called two more times and still no answer.  Except these times it went straight to voicemail.  So, he either doesn’t have service or his phone is shut off.  At this point I’m quietly freaking out.  Then, I get a call from his backup phone.  He said his phone got taken away and he won’t be able to FaceTime for another 45 minutes after inspection.  (Gotta love the army… IM IN F&%$ING LABOR!)  Okay, so I can wait another 45 minutes? Haha, no.  After we did some “practice pushes” we were all aware that this was going to happen pretty quickly.  Let me give another shout out to my good friend epidural because I didn’t feel shit!  I was having conversations, laughing and smiling in between pushing.  This couldn’t be more perfect.

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From start to finish it only took 11 hours of labor and 23 minutes of pushing and my life changed forever.  Nash Michael Reiman was born at 7:15pm on 4/11/17 weighing in at 7lbs 5oz (giving credit to my husband for guessing it right on the dot).  The second I saw him, my first thought was how did he fit in there?  My second thought was thank God he has so much hair- the heartburn was so worth it.  My third thought was is this really happening? I had a baby?  Everything about it was so surreal, you cannot compare this feeling to anything.  God is so good.

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My husband finally calls on FaceTime and unfortunately is 7 minutes too late.  But, hearing his voice in that moment and looking at our son, I wanted time to freeze forever.  Becoming a mother is the scariest, most incredible, and most dream like thing I have ever experienced.  I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

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I want to take a moment to say thank you to my support team, my mother-in-law Tammy and amazing friend Krystal.  I literally could not have gotten through this without either of you.  I love you both more than words can say and Nash is so lucky to have you two in his life.

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Nash Michael you are going to do incredible things in this life. We can’t wait to watch you grow. Mommy and Daddy love you more than you could know.


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