One of the main competitions between moms and dads is in their child’s first year of life, and thats is if they say “Mama,” or “Dada,” first. When your breastfed baby decides to say Dad first you can’t help but feel a little defeated. Not only did Nash say dada first, he said it ALL the time. First thing in the morning “Dada”, when he wanted to play “Dada”. For the first couple of months he wasn’t that interested in my husband because life revolved around the boob, so I can’t help but feel a little excited for my husband because the first thing our son was able to vocalize is “Dada”. But it wasn’t long before my husband got burnt out from Nash wanting Dada all the time which brings me to the differences between Mamas and Dadas.
My role as a mom consists of a never ending anxiety filled list in my head of things to do. My mind never stops. Even when Nash gives me a chance to sleep (that’s typically a very small window of time) I just lay there prioritizing my list for tomorrow. My diet consists of too much coffee and not enough water. Nash and I have established a strict routine and when we stray away from it we’re screwed for three days until we get back on track. When I work evenings and don’t get home until after 8 the first thing he does is scream at me. Does everyone’s child do this? I nurse him all night, get little to no sleep, and start all over the next day.
Now that I’m done complaining let’s move on to the Dads (no this doesn’t pertain to everyone and yes I’m giving my husband a hard time.) He gets a lot of “shit breaks” aka alone time on the toilet. I’d kill for that (whoops I’m still complaining aren’t it?) Hell sometimes I even pretend to go just so I can have silence for 2 minutes. He’s never once had to get up in the middle of the night to feed/change Nash, although I’m usually the one to gives in first so that’s partially my fault. Even though on occasion my husbands head almost flies off if Nash cries for more than 15 seconds, he is pretty good at keeping his composure. For that I’m envious of him. BUT THEN. For 6 weeks he was laid off of work and now I know why there aren’t a lot of stay at home dads. Shit, I know why some Moms go back to work too. (Again, my husband works his ass off and I’m very appreciative for all he does for our family).
These are things you don’t really think of when you want to have a baby. Why would you? All I thought of was building a strong foundation for our family and loving this child so unconditionally that it hurt. Even as I’m writing this I’m coming to the realization that’s all a child needs. From both parents. A strong foundation and love. They don’t care about who changes more diapers or the never ending lists of things you need to do and they definitely don’t care how many cups of coffee you’ve had today.
The similarities out weigh the differences of being moms and dads. Both need to love their children unconditionally. One needs to pick up the slack where the other lacks and vice versa. It is a team effort and always a work in progress because no one is perfect and that’s okay.
There’s is one thing that is absolutely, positively, undoubtably for sure about both moms and dads. You BOTH deserve a fucking break.